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RECAP: Spring Break Retreat

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It’s not often that we stare our 15 year-old self in the face. Where we look so intently back on the years we spent in high school pining over boys, navigating friend drama and wishing that our parents would JUST let us stay out past midnight. I recently leapt back in time and got real with my 15 year-old self – through 12 teens on one small island over five days. The result: a ripple effect that I’m not sure I can totally comprehend yet. AND an embracing of my inner self that I didn’t think I had in me.

It was April of this year that my soul sister, Alex Mazerolle, hosted the first ever Girlvana Spring Break Retreat at Bodega Ridge on Galiano Island. In attending, I had a couple roles to fill: provide onsite support to Alex, hang with the dudes running the retreat center and communicate some things here and there and finally, act as a mentor to the teens in attendance and stay in a cabin with two ‘campers’.

My guilty admission (that I ‘fessed up to on the last night we were there) is that I was actually terrified to go and to be in a role where I knew I would be contributing to the dialogue and experience of the retreat. Much like (I’m sure) many people, the years from 12 to 17(ish) weren’t always my most shining moments. From braces to training bras, bad skin to questionable clothing choices (on reflection), the things that were going on below the surface have been known to show up in day to day life over the last few years and have a big time effect on my decision making, emotional state, etc.

The prospect of surfacing all those bits and pieces of self doubt, fear, anger, loneliness and everything in between caused uncontrollable and unexpected episodes of light waterworks right up until picking up a camper while another mentor looked on with perhaps a little concern (and a whole lotta love – thank you).

Getting over my waterworks and getting to the retreat, I experienced an unanticipated feeling of settling. Fear be gone, I was suddenly among friends – and we were all unapologetically ourselves. No longer did I think I had to ‘be someone’ for these chicks; I just had to be me (and really, who else would I want to be? Duh.).

The retreat was five days long. We had 13 meals together, four yoga practices, one epic hike, too many crafts to remember and conversations (laced with the occasional tear or two) in the hundreds. Yes, we smashed through Kleenex like it was our job – and in all honesty, it kind of was. That time and space was healing for us all – even us mentors who are well adjusted, professional(ish) women with our “stuff” together (or not). We were ALL on that journey back to high school the minute we said ‘yes’ to attending, in knowing that we too were going to heal, connect, align and grow in the time we spent with those epic young chickadees that joined us on Galiano Island.

This recap was written by one of Girlvana’s amazing mentors & a “Jess of all trades”- Jess Robson. You can read more from her here or follow her on instagram


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